It was Monday, October 28, 2013 and I
had just spent an entire week of my life in Budapest, Hungary. There were some undeniably
good things about the city, such as the presence of cormorants in the man-made
pond in the city park and the architecture of some of the buildings.
But when it came to food, this city was a scam.
Waiting
at the Keleti train station for a train to Bratislava, Slovakia, I stopped to
reflect on how many times the Budapest food industry had scammed me in a mere
seven days. I was also busy trying to force down a bottle of soda water that I yet
again accidentally bought because apparently this city doesn’t sell noncarbonated
bottled water.
The Hungarian Food Scams:
- Blueberries.
 |
| What they should look like |
Mmmm, fresh
blueberries at an organic-looking little produce market. I paid over $1 for a
small handful (about 20) of blueberries which ended up having more seed than
fruit! Since when do blueberries come with seeds? Bitter and inedible, I decided
to leave them on the side of the bridge. Doubt the birds or the homeless would
touch them, though.
- Falafels
 |
| Some of the best. From Le Marais in Paris. |
Falafel-pita, the
amazingly fulfilling street food that got me through Israel, is sold at Turkish
kebab restaurants throughout Budapest; there’s at least one on every block. In
Budapest, a falafel sandwich is actually a flour tortilla containing three dry,
tasteless, microwaved falafels and a handful of shredded iceberg lettuce. They
don’t even have hummus!
- Baklava
 |
| Spain had a much more impressive selection... |
No better than the
falafel situation, baklava in Budapest is a watery, sugary mess lacking texture,
flavor, and variety. I’m missing Israel more and more.
- Water
One would think
they could count on the availability of bottled water in a developed country
such as Hungary. But no, this country only sells sparkling water. I made about
a dozen attempts to buy still bottled water in supermarkets, newsstands, gift
shops, and other places, with a success rate of zero. I asked, I tried to read
labels, I shook all the bottles to check for bubbles… it simply doesn’t exist.
- Langos
 |
| Is this really supposed to be appetizing? |
This is supposedly
a ‘traditional’ Hungarian bread. But from my experiences, it’s actually just a
chewy, microwaved greasy slab of dough smeared with sour cream and half-melted cheap cheese. Gross.
- Burger King
Let’s just say the
actual products are so far removed from the photographs in the windows and on
the menus that it should be illegal. Luckily I don't regularly frequent this place.
- Fruit at the Keleti Train Station
I spent my last
minutes in Hungary at the train station trying to use up my last 200 Forints
(just under $1). I’ll buy a piece of fruit, I thought. Wrong. I went to the
fruit stand to ask how much a banana cost, but my 200 Forints weren’t enough.
Nor were they enough for an apple. Thinking it was a communication issue, I showed
her the change I had left and asked what I could buy, and she laughed in
my face. ‘Hahaha, nothing! You fool!’ she might as well have said.
In my
country, a dollar most always buys one a piece of fruit…
